Rediscovering Yourself, One Intentional Step at a Time

Selfie of Amanda with the Chicago Bean and Skyline behind her on a brisk, cloudy, Chicago morning in November 202

There’s a certain kind of peace that comes when you start doing things for yourself again — not because you have to, not because someone else wants you to, but because you know they’re good for you.

For months, I’ve been focusing on the basics — working out regularly, drinking water, eating nourishing food, re-establishing my meditation practice, prioritizing sleep. The things that sound small, but are actually the foundation of self-trust.

Each act, even when I don’t feel like doing it, whispers: “I’ve got you.”

And that’s what rediscovery looks like.

The Art of Doing Things Just for You

As a newly single woman, I’ve been learning what it means to be with myself again — to find joy, curiosity, and adventure without needing anyone else to validate it.

I’ve taken myself to concerts, to a group wine tasting, and even on a solo trip to Chicago for a book event. It was incredible — not just the event itself, but the feeling of wandering through a city again.

I used to live in the Bay Area and later in Seattle, and I’d forgotten how good it feels to get lost in a big city — to walk through streets filled with energy, diversity, and opportunity.

In Chicago, I treated myself to Thai food and pho, I tried Levain bakery (two chip cookie OMG!!!). I got a $40 foot reflexology massage which used to be a monthly-ish treat to myself. I talked to strangers. I blended in. I walked along the river in the morning with coffee in hand, listening to the sound of pigeons taking off and runners’ footsteps echoing off the water.

I visited the Bean, looked up at the skyscrapers, and just… existed.

And in that stillness, I felt more like me than I have in a long time.

The Power of Choosing Yourself, Again and Again

On the drive there I listened to the "Diary of a CEO Podcast" episode with Brene Brown where her and the host were incredibly open and vulnerable about their upbringings and how it has shaped them and their relationships.

She discussed vulnerability and the armor we put on to protect ourselves in different ways throughout our lives. It was an incredible, albeit long, episode with countless nuggets of information. I've gotten so much insight from her books and this was a culmination highlighting all of them.

She is such a powerhouse and it set the tone for the weekend.

These last couple months have been very reflective. I’m 42 and not at all where I thought I’d be. I’ve spent the better part of my adult years looking for my person in the hopes of building a family. A couple of years ago I actually decided to try to become a single mother by choice through IVF. It was a horrible roller coaster and I chose to stop trying.

I decided I’d try my hand at relationships with men who already had children — chasing a version of fulfillment that always seemed just out of reach. Each time, I ended up back at square one, hurt and alone. This last one has nearly broken me, but I am starting to accept the maybe that just isn’t the path for me.

I’m still sitting with it.
I’m learning to honor how I feel, one day at a time.
I’m learning to trust that rebuilding doesn’t always look like progress — sometimes it looks like stillness, presence, and patience, accepting where you are each and every day.

Momentum in the Smallest Steps

Each tiny step — a workout, a meal, a walk, a post, a client conversation — builds a little more momentum.

It’s proof that even when I don’t know the full plan, I can still take one intentional step forward.

And eventually, all those little steps add up to something real — something that feels like coming home.

If you’re in a season of rebuilding yourself, please know:
You’re not behind.
You’re not broken.
You’re simply becoming.

Keep doing the small things that remind you of who you are.

Future you is already grateful.

Next time you feel lost, remember:
You don’t have to know the entire path — you just have to take the next kind, intentional step, even if it’s a micro step.

You will find yourself again, not in one big moment of clarity, but in all the small ones you chose to keep showing up for.

I’m here to help if you’d like someone to support you along the way as well. I know how it feels. I know how hard it can be, but you will get through all of it! Even if at the moment it seems impossible.